so we eat like pigs, non?

dear monsieur bergeron:

please accept my deepest apologies for all the havoc our eating habits have caused you and your school. you see, we are from a third world country; we don't know any better.

when we moved here, we promised ourselves that we would do our best to conform with your ideals and standards. it's the least we can do after all, as you have been kind enough to welcome and allow us to live in your great country. i am truly ashamed that some of us have apparently forgotten what an honor honour (i apologize, i will not forget to include the "u" again) it is to be able to live like you, and how you've been generously and patiently teaching us how normal and civilized people should live.

i wholeheartedly agree with your belief that all students should learn how to eat intelligently at the table. i cannot fathom how that boy's parents could disregard their son's intellectual growth this way. and yes, it is only right that children should learn how to eat with respect for others eating with them. the use of spoons is a deeply offensive and disgraceful habit that has unfortunately become part of our people's traditions.

i know that what that boy and his ungrateful family did is unforgivable, but please rest assured that all of us are as grateful and thankful as ever, and that this incident would be the last of its kind.

merci beaucoup,

k

p.s.

i am also pleased to inform you that i am about to embark on a study comparing brain cell activities of those who eat with forks and knives with those who use forks and spoons. i will then publish the superiority of people who use forks and knives as soon as i can. i truly hope this could help convert all those who are still inclined to use spoons as eating utensils.

p.p.s.

you could die and go to hell.

*obviously, anger management classes aren't working that well for me.*
...

thanks for sharing that article, coathangerwings.