an apple nudged newton into formulating the law of gravitation.
a fig newton made me think of this.
yesterday, i was thinking of how easy it is for us to judge each other. a single encounter, an unfortunate faux pas, a terrible first impression and that other person's forever damned in our eyes. or sometimes we catch a glimpse of what he listens to, what he reads, how he dresses, how he talks and already these little wheels in our heads start working on pegging this person as this or that, categorizing and classifying and putting on labels like the good old clinical and functional machines that they are.
but we never really know, do we? that painfully quiet boy (whom you secretly call nerd) in class has the most extensive punk and metal album collection ever, that rude man who wouldn't give up his seat for you is still feeling pain from his leg surgery and thus unable to stand for long periods of time, that surly old lady in the admissions department was one of those topless girls frolicking in the mud at woodstock, that funny man with the different colored socks in the coffee shop this morning is actually almost obsessive-compulsive when it comes to organizing his things except that somebody nicked his laundry from the wash the night before and the stores wouldn't open until 10, that schoolmate you hated for years turns out to be not so bad and even becomes your best friend after you were forced to be her seatmate.
i realized how we are so easily swayed by isolated incidents, our presupposed biases, other people's beliefs (whether it's society telling us what to expect or our friends' opinions), and our limited knowledge and understanding of what and who that other person really is.
we're all guilty of it, we've all been on the receiving end. i've been ESPECIALLY guilty of it so i guess it makes sense that i've been on the receiving end quite a bit, too.
i've been thought of as bitchy, mean, moronic, difficult, foolish, slutty, and probably deserving of the eating disorder that i OBVIOUSLY have.
eating disorder.
the past few weeks, i've been called anorexic more times than i can count. because people see me munching on apples and fat-free yogurt and granola bars, they think i'm this health nut who counts every calorie she consumes. which is a laugh, really, considering how i probably eat enough for three people.
i eat apples and fat-free yogurt and granola bars because i happen to LIKE them. i also happen to like a host of other things, which i do eat all the time in amounts that boggle my mother's mind. i have an m&m dispenser in my room, my cupboard's full of chips (which, to my doctor's horror, i sometimes eat dipped in mayonnaise), my purse is never without a chocolate bar. when i'm in the right mood, i could go toe-to-toe with grown males on dinnerthons. my day is not complete without a cupcake or something equally yummy, equally fatty, equally good enough to increase my risk of getting heart disease tenfold.
i see people look at me with pity, or disdain, or sometimes both when they see me with skim milk and crackers (something which occurs because i actually like skim milk and crackers. and because i feel guilty about finishing half the jar of marshmallow fluff. and because it's lent and i'm giving up doughnuts and coffee for 40 days). i hear them theorize about why i eat like so - "poor girl, it's because of...", "she must be really sad...", "tsk, i hate it when girls do that to themselves...".
i just laugh it off, really (there IS the temptation to go to them and say, "i eat normally, i'm thin, i'm not sad. deal with it and MYOB.", but mostly it's because i like imagining how they'd react if i do that). even though i promised myself that i wouldn't be so quick to make presumptions about other people and that i'll start to go beyond first impressions and what others may lead me to think, i've also learned to accept that people will go on believing what they want to believe. so, people can judge me all they want. as long as i know and i'm sure that i'm not doing anything wrong or hurting anybody, i really couldn't care less if they think i'm this silly, ignorant, evil, calorie-obsessed whore of babylon.
no, i'm not that bothered to know that people think so badly of me.
i just wish they wouldn't finish all the "unhealthy" cookies and leave me with just the fig newtons.
yesterday, i was thinking of how easy it is for us to judge each other. a single encounter, an unfortunate faux pas, a terrible first impression and that other person's forever damned in our eyes. or sometimes we catch a glimpse of what he listens to, what he reads, how he dresses, how he talks and already these little wheels in our heads start working on pegging this person as this or that, categorizing and classifying and putting on labels like the good old clinical and functional machines that they are.
but we never really know, do we? that painfully quiet boy (whom you secretly call nerd) in class has the most extensive punk and metal album collection ever, that rude man who wouldn't give up his seat for you is still feeling pain from his leg surgery and thus unable to stand for long periods of time, that surly old lady in the admissions department was one of those topless girls frolicking in the mud at woodstock, that funny man with the different colored socks in the coffee shop this morning is actually almost obsessive-compulsive when it comes to organizing his things except that somebody nicked his laundry from the wash the night before and the stores wouldn't open until 10, that schoolmate you hated for years turns out to be not so bad and even becomes your best friend after you were forced to be her seatmate.
i realized how we are so easily swayed by isolated incidents, our presupposed biases, other people's beliefs (whether it's society telling us what to expect or our friends' opinions), and our limited knowledge and understanding of what and who that other person really is.
we're all guilty of it, we've all been on the receiving end. i've been ESPECIALLY guilty of it so i guess it makes sense that i've been on the receiving end quite a bit, too.
i've been thought of as bitchy, mean, moronic, difficult, foolish, slutty, and probably deserving of the eating disorder that i OBVIOUSLY have.
eating disorder.
the past few weeks, i've been called anorexic more times than i can count. because people see me munching on apples and fat-free yogurt and granola bars, they think i'm this health nut who counts every calorie she consumes. which is a laugh, really, considering how i probably eat enough for three people.
i eat apples and fat-free yogurt and granola bars because i happen to LIKE them. i also happen to like a host of other things, which i do eat all the time in amounts that boggle my mother's mind. i have an m&m dispenser in my room, my cupboard's full of chips (which, to my doctor's horror, i sometimes eat dipped in mayonnaise), my purse is never without a chocolate bar. when i'm in the right mood, i could go toe-to-toe with grown males on dinnerthons. my day is not complete without a cupcake or something equally yummy, equally fatty, equally good enough to increase my risk of getting heart disease tenfold.
i see people look at me with pity, or disdain, or sometimes both when they see me with skim milk and crackers (something which occurs because i actually like skim milk and crackers. and because i feel guilty about finishing half the jar of marshmallow fluff. and because it's lent and i'm giving up doughnuts and coffee for 40 days). i hear them theorize about why i eat like so - "poor girl, it's because of...", "she must be really sad...", "tsk, i hate it when girls do that to themselves...".
i just laugh it off, really (there IS the temptation to go to them and say, "i eat normally, i'm thin, i'm not sad. deal with it and MYOB.", but mostly it's because i like imagining how they'd react if i do that). even though i promised myself that i wouldn't be so quick to make presumptions about other people and that i'll start to go beyond first impressions and what others may lead me to think, i've also learned to accept that people will go on believing what they want to believe. so, people can judge me all they want. as long as i know and i'm sure that i'm not doing anything wrong or hurting anybody, i really couldn't care less if they think i'm this silly, ignorant, evil, calorie-obsessed whore of babylon.
no, i'm not that bothered to know that people think so badly of me.
i just wish they wouldn't finish all the "unhealthy" cookies and leave me with just the fig newtons.
