take the cannolis.
i love my jillian, my kayanna, my adele, my destiny, my derek (i don't care what his dad says. in my book, derek is only spelled one way).
but for one godchild that i know and adore, there's one that i haven't seen since that day i stood with his parents in front of a priest and vowed to be their guide and guard them from evil.
how i'm supposed to protect them from satan and all his works when i'm clueless about their names let alone their whereabouts is still very much a mystery.
i take that back, SOME of the parents do make an effort to remind me of their child's existence towards the end of the year. on which occasion i would inevitably be subjected to endless tales of what my godchildren did the previous 364 days, how they are such excellent students, what good kids they are, and how they take so much after me, their darling ninang. my poor godchildren, on the other hand, would be sitting there uncomfortably, wondering who on earth is this girl they're supposed to make mano to, and wishing that their moms could finish with their monologues so they could go spend christmas the way they want to, playing with friends and family that they actually know.
can't blame them, i would rather celebrate the holiday with people i know myself.
it's not that i mind being asked to be a godparent. if all my friends and all my family deem me worthy of being part of their children's lives like that, i'll wonder what madness made them think so, but will also accept the responsibilities with joy. yes, responsibilities, because isn't that what godparenting is all about? once you're asked to be one, you automatically become a child's guardian, guide, role model - someone who will take a special interest in his upbringing and growth. people seem to have forgotten that, with parents choosing godparents for all the wrong reasons.
the very first time i was asked to be a godparent, i turned to my mom in fear. during the ceremony, i was so nervous when i was repeating all those vows that i dripped hot wax all over my shoes. up to this day, i still don't understand how those people came to the conclusion that an 11 year-old girl could grasp something as important as being a godparent. in retrospect, they probably didn't understand it themselves either.
you don't ask people to be your child's godparents because you're scared you might offend them if you don't, or because they're your cousins and your parents think it'll be an excellent idea to ask them even if you don't really agree with how they choose to live their lives, or because you spent one summer playing tag and chinese garter with them, or because you know how generous they are to their other godchildren, or because you grew up three houses from them and occassionally see them in block parties, or because you caused them hurt in the past and are now hoping to regain that friendship that seemed to disintegrate when you broke up with them (when my friend found herself in this situation, she was agonizing on whether to accept or not. i told her she couldn't be blamed if she refused. even though i was sorry that baby lost the chance to have the best godmother she could have, it was unacceptable for her parents to use her like that). you don't really want a virtual stranger or somebody you don't really like taking part in your children's lives now, do you?
that being said, if you're going to ask me to be your baby's ninang, please make an effort to know my middle name at least. so i could pretend that it's really personal and not just business.
but for one godchild that i know and adore, there's one that i haven't seen since that day i stood with his parents in front of a priest and vowed to be their guide and guard them from evil.
how i'm supposed to protect them from satan and all his works when i'm clueless about their names let alone their whereabouts is still very much a mystery.
i take that back, SOME of the parents do make an effort to remind me of their child's existence towards the end of the year. on which occasion i would inevitably be subjected to endless tales of what my godchildren did the previous 364 days, how they are such excellent students, what good kids they are, and how they take so much after me, their darling ninang. my poor godchildren, on the other hand, would be sitting there uncomfortably, wondering who on earth is this girl they're supposed to make mano to, and wishing that their moms could finish with their monologues so they could go spend christmas the way they want to, playing with friends and family that they actually know.
can't blame them, i would rather celebrate the holiday with people i know myself.
it's not that i mind being asked to be a godparent. if all my friends and all my family deem me worthy of being part of their children's lives like that, i'll wonder what madness made them think so, but will also accept the responsibilities with joy. yes, responsibilities, because isn't that what godparenting is all about? once you're asked to be one, you automatically become a child's guardian, guide, role model - someone who will take a special interest in his upbringing and growth. people seem to have forgotten that, with parents choosing godparents for all the wrong reasons.
the very first time i was asked to be a godparent, i turned to my mom in fear. during the ceremony, i was so nervous when i was repeating all those vows that i dripped hot wax all over my shoes. up to this day, i still don't understand how those people came to the conclusion that an 11 year-old girl could grasp something as important as being a godparent. in retrospect, they probably didn't understand it themselves either.
you don't ask people to be your child's godparents because you're scared you might offend them if you don't, or because they're your cousins and your parents think it'll be an excellent idea to ask them even if you don't really agree with how they choose to live their lives, or because you spent one summer playing tag and chinese garter with them, or because you know how generous they are to their other godchildren, or because you grew up three houses from them and occassionally see them in block parties, or because you caused them hurt in the past and are now hoping to regain that friendship that seemed to disintegrate when you broke up with them (when my friend found herself in this situation, she was agonizing on whether to accept or not. i told her she couldn't be blamed if she refused. even though i was sorry that baby lost the chance to have the best godmother she could have, it was unacceptable for her parents to use her like that). you don't really want a virtual stranger or somebody you don't really like taking part in your children's lives now, do you?
that being said, if you're going to ask me to be your baby's ninang, please make an effort to know my middle name at least. so i could pretend that it's really personal and not just business.
