11 reasons why i love her so:

1. she's the only person i know who actually has BLACK eyes. not dark brown, but i-can't-even see-your-pupils black.

2. when i used to borrow nancy drew books from the grade school library, her name was always way above mine in those borrowers' slips.

3. she was a junior librarian (you were, right?). and i'll have you know that i love libraries so much that when i was filling out my UP application form, i wrote down library science as my fourth choice.

4. during those times when my dad was still an advocate of the hitler school of parenting, she was my "get out of jail, free" ticket whenever i wanted to go out of the house.

"saan ka pupunta?"

"kila ate celeste."

"ah, ok."

5. and since i was a good kid, i would actually just run over to her house where we'll spend hours ransacking her aunt's formidable pocketbook collection, gossiping, and making up codenames for our crushes. the ones she came up with for hers were always better than mine, though.

6. she knows ALL of my crushes - from "helen" (it was supposed to be "troy" as in troy from beverly hills teens, but i thought it was too obvious so i changed it to helen. you know, helen of troy.) to the "love of jake's life" (hahaha, remember this?), to my thankfully short-lived but superdupersecret crush, whose identity i will carry with me to the grave. she knows so much that she could divest me of all my belongings and dignity if she chooses to blackmail me. lucky for me, she's nice and, unlike the rest of us mere mortals, could actually keep a secret.

7. when i gush about this certain boy who ties his long dark blond hair in a ponytail and who injured his leg because he was in a mission with his best friend, this huge, dark man, who got married when he was 14, but didn't really see his wife until he had to kidnap her a good how many years later, and who was also the brother of this girl with green eyes, red hair, and talent for picking locks, who eventually married the older brother of that guy with long hair - well, she would know what i'm talking about.

8. high school sophomore year wouldn't have been the same without her (sure, i paid the price when she and the rest of the gang graduated and left me in the hands of those juniors-turned-seniors, but you know what? the fun times were worth that stupid CAT power-tripping i had to endure)

9. because we know that being able to distinguish self-centeredness from mollusks is sehr gut, posing beside the refreshment table is schlecht, and making an obvious fool of yourself is graunvoll. amusing, but graunvoll.

10. she's the original steel magnolia. a lesser being would've buckled under all that pressure (and would've been excused for doing so), but that was never an option for her.

11. she shares the same birthday with leonardo di caprio. and i know he's not as beautiful now, but i still love leo.

happy birthday, ate che. you know you rock.

and i'm not just saying that because i want sausages. promise.